Hello Reader,

Today my neighbours to the south mark their independence. I'll leave the fireworks to them but the word has been turning over in my head, because independence isn't really a holiday. It's a relationship status. You're either free in a thing or you're captive to it. And there's one relationship almost all of us are quietly captive to.

Our relationship with time.

Look at how we treat it. We bargain with it. We try to control it, manage it, wring more out of it. And when that doesn't work, and it never works, we don't conclude that the project was impossible. We conclude we didn't try hard enough. So we try harder. New system, new app, earlier alarm. The effort climbs, the result doesn't, and we stay anxious and tethered, certain the next push is the one that finally gets time under control.

There's a word for that — for pouring endless energy into managing something you were never able to manage, and staying hooked on the fantasy that you can. It's codependency. And I think it describes our relationship with time almost perfectly. Time is going to do the one thing time does — pass — no matter how cleverly we schedule it. Managing it is a story we tell ourselves about control, and the story is exactly what keeps us captive.

Here's the turn, and it's the whole essay.

You can't manage time. You can only manage yourself within it. The thing that looks like control (managing time) is what holds you captive. And the thing that looks like surrender (admitting you can't) is what sets you free. Independence isn't winning the fight with time. It's walking away from a fight you were never going to win, and turning toward the one thing in the equation you do govern. Yourself.

That's not giving up. It's growing up. The codependent stops waiting for the other party to change and starts living their own life. You stop waiting for time to finally cooperate, and you start spending yourself well inside it. That is productiveness. And it's the freedom actually worth declaring.

The Final Flicker

You will never be the boss of time. The day you stop applying for the job is the day you get your life back.

See you later,
Mike

P.S. If you want one move this week, here it is: Don't plan your time. Plan yourself. Decide the one way you want to show up... and let the schedule arrange itself around that.

Thanks for reading. Your time is valuable, and I don’t take it for granted. In a world pulling us in all directions, thanks for choosing The Lantern.